Idol Blather - Season 5

Kalifornia Kat vs. 'Bama Boy: A Musical Meltdown

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 24 May 2006 01:57:00 +0000

Our 2 finalists,
in a relaxed,
candid moment

THE FIRST ROUND
Katharine McPhee: Beautiful, radiant Kat was wise to (a) open with one of the catchiest and more contemporary songs from shows past Black Horse & the Cherry Tree; and (b) sing it this time while standing up. As before, she got a novelty coolness-factor boost by the flanking beat box players. Sexy, confident, nice. Simon calls it a warm-up, and although I loved it just fine, I have to agree. I’ll score it a 7.

Taylor Hicks: Taylor won the pre-show toss-up that allowed him to decide to go second -- a brilliant choice, since it puts him in position to close the show. He also chose his first song wisely, Stevie Wonder's upbeat Living For the City. Like last week, Taylor ain’t messing around -- he’s here to win this danged thing, strutting the stage in a fuchsia/purple velour jacket, and pretty much nailing the performance. Is it my imagination, or was Taylor smiling a real, relaxed, serious smile tonight -- not the toothy goofy one he usually flashes? The judges were happy, but I'm concerned for Paula -- she's under the impression that her striped dress matches Taylor’s solid colored jacket. But as Simon said “what do I know?” Score Hicks a 9 for this round.

THE SECOND ROUND
Kat: I was ready to say that if you were as impressed as the judges were last week at her performance of Somewhere Over the Rainbow, then perhaps you haven’t been paying attention all season --her Someone to Watch Over Me and I Have Nothing (which they hated) a few weeks ago were both easily as good. But Katharine actually turned my head around tonight with her redux performance of Rainbow, making me agree with Mr. Cowell that it was probably her best yet. Simon was also careful to spin the dynamic of tonight’s show for optimal drama: accordingly, round 1 goes to Taylor, round 2 to Kat, and round 3 is to have us on the edge of our seats.

Summary from Randy Jackson: For me, yo listen checkitoutcheckitoutcheckit out. For me, yo, listen. For me, listenlisten, checkitoutcheckitout. Checkitoutcheckitoutcheckitout. For me, yo, blah, blah, blah…then you worked it out. For me.
OK, yes, thank you very much, doggy-dog, whatever you just said.

Taylor: Elton John has said that in the period that he recorded “Levon” he was trying to sound like he was from the American South, so the song is perhaps an ironically fitting choice for Birmingham Alabama’s favorite son, his mediocre performance notwithstanding. You know, everyone made a big deal out of Katharine’s minor lyric flub a couple of weeks ago, which happened on the same evening that Taylor messed up a line from You Are So Beautiful (which no one noticed). I predict that again no one will notice that he sang “with tradition in a family plan,” transposing “with” and “in.” You read it here first, Idol fans. And yes, Randy, it was pitchy. But as Paula explained, pitchiness is the essence of Taylor. You gotta love that comment. Paula just earned her six figures. And so Simon gave round 2 to Kat.

THE TURD ROUND
EXCLUSIVE: Intercepted Communiqué to American Idol Staff Songwriter(s) - April, 2006:
Directive: for the evening of May 23, 2006, the producers of American Idol will require two crappy, formulaic, sickeningly sappy, non-creative, boring, disgustingly insipid, poorly written songs roughly based on Kelly Clarkson’s first single “On a Moment Like This,” except nowhere near as good even as that. [Song A] The song written for Katharine McPhee (should she wind up in the finals) must be in a key in which it is inherently difficult for her to sing and in spite of that this will be deemed to be her first single. [Song B] The song written for Taylor Hicks (should he wind up in the finals) should be equally as crapadocious, and equally out of his key and difficult to sing, especially while dancing the Funky Broadway, and will likewise saddle him as his first single, like it or not.

Hey, remember that audition round where Simon asked a girl if she had a voice coach (yes) and a lawyer (no), and then advised that she get a lawyer, to sue her voice coach? That reminds me of this particular moment, when everyone involved with American Idol should be chomping at the bit to get a lawyer to sue the songwriter responsible for the "first singles" from our poor unsuspecting finalists. At the very minimum, perhaps they could stop payment on the commision check.

It is very important to state clearly at this juncture that the the song My Destiny which was apparently written by tortured and/or starved retarded primates who were focus-group-tested to ensure a nauseous reaction from any and all demographic groups, must be destroyed. And by that I mean that all evidence that this song was ever written must be shredded, and then burned, and the ashes then shredded again. All recordings of this song by Katharine McPhee (on audio or video tape) must be magnetically erased, and the tapes must be shredded, and burned, and then shredded again. If the recordings are digital, the hard drives must be incinerated, and then buried, or preferably, placed in a space-bound rocket fitted with a self-destructive detonated nuclear device. All of this, of course, will preclude the song being released as a single.

Kat: the song itself is so bad (did you guess that?), that it is really difficult to separate it from the perfomance. I wouldn’t wish this song on anyone, let alone my favorite finalist in American Idol. Actually, the song really isn't that bad, except for the lyrics -- and the melody. And the money-grubbing record company mentality that inspired it. Oh my god, was Katharine robbed, or what? If there was a communist plot to stop her from winning, My Destiny would prominently figure into it. For the first time in the 5 year history of the show, I agreed with Randy, who said (in the understatement of the century) that the singer was better than the song. Since the songwriter is on the show’s payroll, I am guessing that even that comment from him was a little risky. So Amen, Dawg. I can't comment at all -- I am feeling very queasy right now.

Dang, Kat -- I guess you should have played the cleavage card or something-- how in the hell are you supposed to win now?

Taylor: It was some consolation then that Taylor's turd song called Do I Make You Proud?, was equally as (if not more) vomit-inducing, and lots of money could be saved if all the tapes for this one could also ride on the same exploding rocket ship as My Destiny. If either of them are ever played on the radio, I will guarantee that it will be a one-time occurrence and we will never hear of them again, because the public outcry against their suckiness will obliterate them from the commerical radio landscape. May we never hear those 2 songs or their titles ever again. If their “songwriter(s)” could please be given a ticket on that same rocket ride, it would be all the more sweet. Oh, and by the way, whoever decided to have a Fantasia-esque robed gospel choir on stage for both of those pieces of shite -- can they also please board that same ship, and/or be relocated to Maine and entered into a witness protection program? You can send the choir up there, too. Have I made my point? Jeez.

Well, at least Taylor was able to work in a couple of his signature emphatic fist clenches on his turd song, which wouldn’t have worked with Kat’s 'song.' So he is a half-point up on her, in my book.

Simon (who rejected Taylor in the first audition and has never completely accepted him all season) sort of congratulated himself, and Taylor, for winning. We shall see, sha'nt we?

Good Gone

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Thu, 18 May 2006 02:37:00 +0000

Open the doors of opportunity to talent and virtue and they will do themselves justice, and property will not be in bad hands.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

What may have begun for me as a piqued musical curiosity about the diminutive not-so-fortunate-looking Boston auditioner called Elliott Yamin soon developed into a undeniable recognition of an extraordinary level of vocal talent. That recognition in time turned into a real appreciation, which developed into a great admiration and enjoyment of his voice, which turned into fanatic support, which developed into love, which turned into a more profound appreciation that went deeper than mere love of his voice, but a fondness for him as a human being which enhanced my appreciation of his talent, which turned into a realization that nothing less than American Idolhood would be acceptable for him. No one else in five seasons of the show has deserved this little victory as much as Elliott Yamin, an obviously humble, loving, kind person who has clearly never let one moment of this experience go to his head and has appreciated every second of this journey toward his manifest destiny of greatness. This is a guy who unapologetically loves his mother, who is easily moved to tears, once when overwhelmed by the honor of meeting Stevie Wonder -- this is a guy who has a unique ability to open his mouth to sing, and by doing so give Music itself a good name, and make me feel fine while doing it. A guy who embodies what an American Idol should be, and could be. This is a good soul, a good singer, a good guy.

This is a beginning, Elliott Yamin. Yeah!
Amen.

Three to Get Ready - Now Who WIll Go?

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 17 May 2006 02:16:00 +0000

Clive Davis

Yes, I have my 2 favorites -- I really have made no secret of it. But I can and will be objective. In fact, I’m here to report (somewhat sadly) that the contestant who fired on all 3 cylinders tonight -- the overall best -- is the one I wanted most to find fault with -- Taylor Hicks. If however, it would be somehow possible to correlate vote loss with the number of times he annoyed both the home and studio audience by shouting “Soul Patrol,” then Taylor would definitely be Alabamy bound this week.

We all know the deal with tonight's song selections: One Clive Davis choice, one A.I. judge choice, and one contestant’s own choice. So who was blowing & who is going?

CLIVE’S ROUND
Elliott Yamin: Journey’s Open Arms - Oddly, this was my favorite of Elliott’s 3 performances tonight, in spite of the fact that I don’t like the song and despise Journey. Good song choice for Elliot, perfect performance. The judges weren’t so thrilled.

Kat McPhee: Beautiful in sky blue, Kat performed a flawless rendition of R. Kelly’s I Believe I Can Fly, and I do. Tragically, a studio light did not fall directly on Randy’s head and fatally wound him while speaking when he reached into his little bag of fecal matter and pulled out that “you’re not good enough to sing R. Kelly” comment. So much for the power of prayer and positive thinking. Paula disliked it so much, she was speechless, I think for the first time ever. Simon brought us all back down to earth with his sanity & wisdom, rightfully disagreeing with Dawghead, and praising our girl.

Taylor Hicks: Whew! Taylor removed his head out from Clive Davis' whazoo just in time to get up there and take his turn. And no, Randy -- he did not deserve praise for having fun up there (as evidenced by Hicks' move to pull Paula up to dance). That was not having fun, that was a blatent yet savvy attempt to imitate The Boss -- you know, from the video, when he pulled then-unknown Courtney Cox onstage while singing the same song (Dancing In The Dark). Regardless, it was the right song for Hicks, and he brought it. As for the dancing, Taylor would be wise not to enlist professional choreographers to do the Funky Broadway with him. Now that I think about it, Taylor may have learned some of his best moves from Courtney in that video.

A.I. JUDGES’ ROUND
Elliott: Paula chose Bobby Caldwell’s What You Would Do For Love, which (on paper, at least) would seem a perfect fit for El’s talents. I do like the song, and what I liked about the performance was that El was not content to repeat the well-known smooth phrasing of the original -- and instead, as always, jazzified and Elliottized it. Still, not one of my favorite Yamin presentations, but Simon delivered some moderate praise, which pleases me more.

Katharine: Kat was back on the floor again this week to deliver Simon’s choice Somewhere Over the Rainbow (has she been studying the old Fantasia Summertime video or something?), and I was feeling her pressure. Don't forget, she just squeaked by last Wednesday night, and tonight Simon was setting her up for either a grand triumph or dismal failure with this somewhat anthemic standard. The unfamiliar a capella intro was worrisome, but proved to be part of a buildup to a smashing and satisfying cresendo, which left all 3 judges cheering. Happy little bluebirds are singing; and somewhere, perhaps nowhere near a rainbow, Kimberly Locke is throwing something at her television.

Taylor: I was ready to dislike this one (You Are So Beautiful), expecting a shameless Joe Cocker impersonation [and Cocker himself was a living shameless Ray Charles impersonation]. Taylor surprised me again with a well Taylorized money-on version of his own, nuanced and powerful. I was happy to see him avoid the octave-up jump on the last note, which practically ruined the profoundly less sober cracked Cocker version. The judges are in love with Taylor again.

CONTESTANTS’ ROUND
Elliott: My man delivered a spirited version of I Believe To My Soul, a rather deservedly lesser-known Ray Charles song (the Donny Hathaway version), but for the first time in recent memory, I was not love-love-lovin' it. I was looking for a “blow 'em away” from Elliott, and this song and this performance was not the one to do it. Simon layed down a thinly-veiled prediction that Elliott will lose this week, but assured him that “Mum will be proud,” a Cowell way of politely saying "don't let the door bump your little bum on your way out, mate."

Katharine: Ain’t Got Nothin’ But the Blues was delivered pretty solidly as far as I’m concerned, cute little black dress or no cute little black dress (and I would have preferred the latter). Oh no, not again -- Randy trotted out the “you aren’t good enough to sing an Ella song” monkeypoop. Where are those falling stage lights when you need them? Simon called her performance OK and said she had taken one step back after 5 steps forward. I've done the math and that's 4 steps forward, which is enough of a compliment for me.

Taylor: Dang him if he just didn’t go and pick the best song he could have possibly chosen to sing - the Otis Redding version of Try A Little Tenderness (a song that goes back further than Otis). And dang it if he didn’t just go and sing it perfectly, while looking snappy in a fine black suit and white shirt. And I don’t care what Simon said about the ending being “hideous,” the cameras could barely keep up with Taylor on this one as he worked that stage for all it was worth. The man was playing to win, and Simon ultimately hinted that he will get that chance next week (in his second thinly-veiled prediction of the evening). I'd like to take the opportunity here to give Otis Redding and this song props, and say that even Kevin Covais could have delivered a halfway satisfying version. Okay, forgive the hyperbole, but Otis Redding was good, that's all I'm saying.

Where does that leave us?
I think prediction is a fool’s game. Having said that, I am leaning toward agreeing with Simon Cowell, who now seems to think we are facing a Katharine vs. Taylor match next week. And may the best woman win.

We’re going to miss you, Elliott, and I mean that.

Top 3 Under The Blather Microscope: A Pre-Show Exclusive

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Tue, 16 May 2006 02:22:00 +0000

So what is an American Idol, anyway?

Since it began in 2002, American Idol has given the world only one certified superstar, Kelly Clarkson [with two best-selling CDs and two Grammy Awards], one formidable R&B chart star, Fantasia Barrino, and a handful of players from each season who have achieved moderate success in some corner of show business, however dusty. What exactly is going on here? -- what are we looking for in an "American Idol?" That is bound to remain a rhetorical question -- each of us seems to bring his own definition to the table. Last year's season piqued new interest because it held the promise of delivering a 'rocker' Idol rather than a pop star, and ultimately gave us a rather bland country artist, Carrie Underwood -- who knew? A closer look reveals that Season Five's "Top 3" hopefuls are arguably as unlikely a bunch to fulfill the elusive benchmark Idol definition [I know Simon Cowell has one] as any who have come before them. As last week's unforseeable departure of favorite Chris Daughtry demonstrates, each of the remaining three has a real shot at winning. Let's go there, in no particular order:

Elliott Yamin
Profile: 5'2'' 27-year-old Richmond, VA native has no formal training as a singer, and in fact had very little previous experience on stage at all. He officially lists his favorite musical artists as Alicia Keys, Gwen Stefani and Usher. Elliott as some experience and local renown in Richmond as a radio DJ known as E-dub. Infamously, he is a diabetic who is mostly deaf in one ear, and is Jewish. He lists his Mom as his hero. He was once called something like "the best singer in five seasons of American Idol contestants" by Simon Cowell, on the program.

What's working for Elliot:
Elliott is a singer's singer, a versatile vocalist whose musical influences are obviously on the soulful, jazzy end of the spectrum. His performances and uncannily well-suited song choices have been consistently strong throughout the season. He brings the "Everyman" package to the table -- the not-so-tall-and-handsome guy who just happens to be a very talented singer. There is no doubt that he has been and still is the true underdog in this competition, which has and can continue to work in his favor. The crowning of Elliott Yamin as this year's American Idol (against all odds) would effectively challenge (if not destroy) the show's fundemental paradigm -- that the show makes the star -- and revert us to the old school paradigm -- that the cream rises to the top -- that true talent cannot be denied, triumphs over all, and can make a star out of anyone.

What's working against Elliott:
Right or wrong, for better or worse, Elliott is somewhat physically challenged as a pop star. In the world of legitimate music (jazz, for example), musical talent overrules all other considerations, such as the artist's looks. Unfortunately, in the world of "pop," sometimes looks can make or break you. Also, some dislike the vibrato quality in his voice.

Songs:
Wed, Feb. 22 “If You Really Love Me”
Wed, Mar. 1 “Moody's Mood for Love”
Wed, Mar. 8 “Heaven”
Tue, Mar. 14 “Knocks Me Off My Feet”
Tue, Mar. 21 “Teach Me Tonight”
Tue, Mar. 28 “I Don't Want to Be”
Tue, Apr. 4 “If Tomorrow Never Comes”
Tue, Apr. 11 “Somebody to Love”
Tue, Apr. 18 “It Had to Be You”
Tue, Apr. 25 “A Song For You”
Tue, May. 2 “On Broadway”
Tue, May. 2 “Home”
Tue, May. 9 “If I Can Dream”
Tue, May. 9 “Trouble”

Katharine McPhee
Profile: This left-handed, hazel-eyed, suburban Los Angeles native turned 22 on March 25 of this year, and is the daughter of singer and vocal coach Peisha McPhee [who has released her own CD as a singer and has her own web site]. Kat attended the Boston Conservatory for one semester, as a musical theatre major . Notably, Katharine played the lead in an LA production of Annie Get Your Gun, and was nominated for an Ovation Award for "Lead Actress in a Musical" for the role. Favorite singers include Whitney Houston and Brian McKnight. Auditioned for American Idol in San Francisco, singing "God Bless The Child." Her middle name is Hope, and she has a dog named Lily. Notably much younger and more feminine than her two competitors.

What's working for Katharine:
She is (depending on your interpretation) cute, beautiful, and/or sexy; easy on the eyes, all of which contribute to a stage presence which can easily translate to "star quality." She has a seasoned voice and confident singing style, which in her intitial pre-Hollywood audition was described by Simon as "very current sounding." Although she is obviously most comfortable with ballads and jazz standards, she successfully avoids old-fashionedness by dosing her performances liberally with the brand of contemporary vocal runs and phrasings typified by some of her own favorite singers, such as Whitney Houston and Christina Aguilera. This 'whole package' well-roundedness could land her in the approximate vicinity of the Kelly Clarkson pop star camp.

What's working against Katharine:
Katharine is clearly not in her comfort zone when she is singing anything resembling a "rock" song -- and some people find ballads a little less compelling. Some find her almost dorky perkiness a poor substitute for a 'real personality' [but hey, last year's winner couldn't even conjure 'perky']. It could be argued that Kat's particular brand of talent may be better suited for Broadway than for radio hit success, which if true, would be counter to the best interests of the show's producers (who stand to make a lot of money from the winner's future record sales).

Songs:
Tue, Feb. 21 “Since I Fell For You”
Tue, Feb. 28 “All in Love is Fair”
Tue, Mar. 7 “Think”
Tue, Mar. 14 “Until You Come Back to Me”
Tue, Mar. 21 “Come Rain or Come Shine”
Tue, Mar. 28 “The Voice Within”
Tue, Apr. 4 “Bringing Out the Elvis”
Tue, Apr. 11 “Who Wants to Live Forever”
Tue, Apr. 18 “Someone to Watch Over Me”
Tue, Apr. 25 “I Have Nothing”
Tue, May. 2 “Against All Odds”
Tue, May. 2 “Black Horse and Cherry Tree”
Tue, May. 9 “Hound Dog/All Shook Up”
Tue, May. 9 “Can't Help Falling in Love”

Taylor Hicks
Profile: 29-year old Birmingham, Alabama son of a dentist entered the competition at the top of the official age threshold (28), and claims to have been singing almost since birth. He lists Ray Charles, Sam Cooke, Otis Redding, Van Morrison, Bob Seger and Cyndi Lauper as some of his favorite musical artists. Formed the Passing Through Band during the short time he studied at Auburn University as a Business, Communications & Marketing major. Taylor plays guitar & harmonica and write songs.

What's working for Taylor:
As a performer, Taylor has the ability to engage an audience with the sheer passion he brings to the stage. Audiences generally react favorably to performers who are clearly enjoying themselves (are you listening, recently departed?), and Taylor fills that particular bill. If nothing else, his musical heart is clearly in the right place, as he channels his R&B heroes and brings a generally unprecedented roots-rock sensibility to American Idol. Most notably, Taylor never suffered an appearance in the "bottom 3" this season, and seems to have a prodigious and manically loyal fan base.

What's working against Taylor:
Although he is able to put a personal spin on songs he performs, his musical schtick exists within a narrow window of material that he can successfully "Taylorize," that is to say, he is not so versatile. To boot, frequent off-pitchness is one of his more noticable liabilities as a vocalist -- you could argue that Taylor's equal (or better) could be found in any number of blues clubs across the country in less time than you can say "Soul Patrol." He may be aware of that himself, which would account for the fact that he always seems to be working just a little too hard. What some people find "engaging" about him others might call "annoying" -- some feel that his onstage moves are awkward or just plain embarrassing. His look and style may recall Michael McDonald, but (a) that's not necessarily a good thing; and (b) Michael McDonald is an infinitely better singer, by anyone's standards.

Songs:
Wed, Feb. 22 “Levon”
Wed, Mar. 1 “Easy”
Wed, Mar. 8 “Taking it to the Streets”
Tue, Mar. 14 “Living for the City”
Tue, Mar. 21 “Not Fade Away”
Tue, Mar. 28 “Trouble”
Tue, Apr. 4 “Take Me Home, Country Roads”
Tue, Apr. 11 “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”
Tue, Apr. 18 “You Send Me”
Tue, Apr. 25 “Just Once”
Tue, May. 2 “Play That Funky Music”
Tue, May. 2 “Something”
Tue, May. 9 “Jailhouse Rock”
Tue, May. 9 “In The Ghetto”

Institutional Tidbits:

Simon Cowell is the [officially noted] favorite judge of all three remaining contestants
American Idol was created by three Simons: Cowell, Fuller, and Jones.
The parent company of American Idol's production company Fremantle North America owns half of Sony BMG, which in turn owns many recording labels.
Among other accomplishments, the show's 3 directors are known for directing (respectively), Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody video, the TV series Survivor, and Gladiators.
It is likely not a coincidence that the American Idol logo closely resembles the Ford logo

Idol Pinch #10

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Thu, 11 May 2006 03:19:00 +0000

Kat scratch McPheever!

Peanut Butter & Fried Bologna: Top 4 Go To Graceland

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 10 May 2006 03:46:00 +0000

Hey, but you were always on my mind, really…

SPECIAL “ON LOCATION” EDITION
No, sorry -- we didn’t make it to Graceland to get an up-close and personal look at the bullet hole in The King’s TV screen, or that large bee-sting swelling just below Priscilla’s nose and above her chin. But anyway, perhaps both of these can be repaired soon with the royalties garnered from tonight’s Elvis Presley licensing mega-deal.

As many of you know, Idol Blather originates from the greater Greensboro, NC area, where Chris Daughtry makes his home and works, when he’s not in Hollywood making Ford commercials and eating calamari. And where do the hardest of hard-core Greensboro Daughtry-ites go every Tuesday night at 8:00 to watch him on American Idol? No, silly -- it’s too early to head back to their trailers! They congregate en masse to Chris-worship on giant screen TVs with a 150-decibel stereo PA system, where the $2 Newcastles are flowing and the hot wings are winging -- at Hugo’s, to be precise, on Spring Garden Street in Greensboro. Regular readers also know that Chris (who I often dub “homeboy” in the blog) has never been at the top of my favorites list, but I always give him credit wherever & whenever it is due. I will own up right now to the fact that Chris is a stand-up guy, even when he is sitting down. But seriously, he is an undeniable talent who seems to have hung on to some humility on this long crazy ride -- and I do appreciate that in an American Idol wannabe [see Elliott Yamin for the official benchmark on this issue]. And more importantly, Chris Daughtry the favorite to win the entire shooting match, according to every oddsmaker in the universe, and that is significant at this juncture. You can believe these odds or not; but either way, you can bet your sideburns he’ll be back for at least 2 more Tuesday shows.

What with only 4 idol-wannabes left, it's become a challenge to keep the blather interesting. So I have raised the excitement quotient (whoo-hoo!) by taking it out on the road tonight -- on location at the aforementioned Hugo’s, which has been hosting a gala Tuesday night Daughtry-thon for several weeks now. Always in attendance: the hosts, local broadcasters Neil Whicker, Julie Kaye & Skip the Prize Guy from 98.7 Simon FM radio, and in the audience, Wayne & his wife (sorry, didn’t catch the surname), AKA Chris Daughtry’s parent-in-laws. Yes, they live here -- but they’re actually from the Boston area; so a conversation with Wayne is something like talking to Cliff at Cheers -- but more about that later. Tonight's first impression: parked outside the front door at Hugo’s was a big white truck with a sign mounted on the roof reading “Official Nascar Member Club Local Number 274061 Supports Our American Idol Chris Daughtry.” So I supposed I was in for something interesting.

I positioned myself in a part of the semi-cavernous club I would describe as the “living room” section at around 7:45, and settled in to catch some of 98.7’s pre-show banter. Watching an episode of American Idol in a room filled with a couple hundred rabid Daughtry fans was part experimental adventure, part anthropological study, and all in all, a pretty good time. At Chris’s first brief appearance onscreen, stepping out of a car at Graceland, the crowd went beserk. I began to wonder if I was going to be able to catch any audio on this show. I was happily surprised that the sufficiently amplified sound level cut through much of the Hugo's crowd noise. And speaking of cutting, let’s cut to the chase:

Taylor Hicks - If ever there was a theme hand-picked for Taylor Hicks, this one is it. His rendition of Jailhouse Rock was charismatic and effortless. He looked good as he moved through the crowd in a snazzy new brown suit. But…I won’t let him off that easily. Once again, this is straightforward rock-n-roll, not the sort of song to showcase vocal talent -- in other words, he was able to sleepwalk through it, as he seemingly rocked the house. Like me, Simon was underimpressed.

Chris Daughtry - It was happily appropriate (for me) to witness Chris at his vocal best in this venue, surrounded by his loving peeps. But let me keep this real: this actually may have been my favorite Daughtry performance of the year, which included a well-timed but somewhat cheesy removal of shades in mid-song). A great song (Suspicious Minds) done really, really well, and a spot-on-the-money brilliant song selection for Elvis night. Chris is a shoe-in, so he didn’t necessarily need a triumph here, but this was one. The Hugo's crowd went absolutely bananas after this one (need I tell you?), and likewise again after all 3 judges gave their thumbs up.

Elliott Yamin - As I always enjoy pointing out, Elliott’s performances are a notch above the rest before he even begins, because he always presents himself with a huge vocal challenge in his selections-- songs that require carefully measured doses of power and nuance. And as always, he absolutely delivered it on If I Can Dream, The King’s famous concert show-closing tune. My heart was warmed to hear a large and rather surprising positive reaction from many in Hugo's Daughtry throng when Elliott finished up. Lot’s of spontaneous whoo’s, and even some applause. That's right, the Daughtry Gang was applauding Elliot. The moral here: Believe in Elliott Yamin. He is still capable of wrapping up Season 5 in a big package and taking it home.

Kat McPhee - McPheever is a powerful thing. Objectivity on my longtime favorite girl is generally difficult to conjure. And while I cannot criticize the essence of her performance of Hound Dog/All Shook Up, I was disppointed that it was not the grand slam she needed at this stage of the game. The competition is tough, and (as the judges pointed out), being the only girl on Elvis night is an inherent disadvantage. Yes, the mini-medley was infectious; yes, she was energetic & loose, and was clearly having fun. But Kat fares best when she can show off her extraordinary voice with more subtle material, and this performance was not predestined to acheive that for her. But I should note that a large Kat contingency behind me shouted out their appreciation loudly.
2 other cents: Simon Cowell is making a very conspicuous effort to steer voting toward keeping this one in or running that one out. In this critical hour, it became apparent that Simon has abandoned Kat for Elliott, i.e. who he wants to put up against Chris (or Taylor) in the finals. Someone has to go, and Simon has [apparently] officially decided that it should be Katharine. My own opinion is that it should be Taylor, whose brand of vocal talent is on a much lower plane than that of Kat or Elliott. But Taylor has an invisible shield around him apparently impervious to bad song choices, mediocre singing, ridiculous dancing, and green kryptonite.

Taylor Hicks - In the Ghetto, maudlin tear-jerker that it is, was (as the judges concur) a masterful song selection for Taylor, and he pulled it off fairly well. No smiling, no dancing, no Joe Cockerization. Just plain old poke-salad-balladizing. All three judges lit up like fireflies on an Alabama summer night.

Chris Daughtry - AHHHHHHGGGGGG!!!! WHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOO!!!!! SCREEEEEEEEAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!! The crowd carried on loudly through most of the pre-song Tommy Mottola discussion, and didn’t settle down till Chris begain wailing on A Little Less Conversation. Lest you think this gonzo crowd has unfairly swayed me in Daughtry’s direction tonight, allow me to set the record straight. This performance was as not-so-good as his first one was good. Chris was back in his droney lower register -- and to make matters worse, this song literally has no more than one octave of range, at most. In other words, he had to sing only about 6 or 7 different notes to get through the song. Simon & I agree again -- “just OK,” and “flat.” Oh, booooooooo, mean Simon!

Elliott “Amerian Idol” Yamin - (Trouble) I’m just going to hand this call over to all three judges: Randy: “Your best performance ever;” Paula: “Your previous performance was second only to this one, which was your best performance ever;” and Simon: “Based on that performance, you deserve to go to the next round.” Amen, Yamin. I'm happy for E-dub, but is this a conspiracy or what?

Kat McPhee - The radiant and captivating Katharine continued her long tradition of choosing favorite songs of mine, and delivered the beautiful I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You. This is a deceptively difficult song to sing well, and I believe she pulled it off, and even took it up a notch in mid-song with a challengingly high key modulation. But once again, she needed to shock & awe America; to blow us all away tonight -- and I don't think that happened. She is perennially golden, but I’m still worried that Elvis Night is a Man’s Man’s World. Simon (see previous Kat song discussion) is ready to put her on a bus back to Sherman Oaks. And I'd be ready for that, too, but only if she'd agree to share a seat, and sit on my lap. What, is that asking too much? I should note that cell phone voting (for Chris, of course) began in Hugo's while Kat was still in mid-song, crooning “…some things are meant to be…” By 9:03 it was announced that someone in the crowd had already voted 40 times for Daughtry -- and everyone else there seemed to be working on doing the same.

As I left Hugo's, I met and chatted with Wayne (Chris’ father-in-law), a true salt-of-the-earth kind of guy, a gregarious storyteller, a Red Sox fan, who hugged me and fake-cheek-kissed me when I told him I was from Massachusetts (which is true). I told him about my blog, and I had to admit to him that I am not always so big on Chris Daughtry. And he had to admit the same to me. I liked Wayne.

Tonight, the voting phone numbers are answered by recordings of the contestants themselves (why didn't they think of that sooner?); but as always, it was nearly impossible to get through.

Idol Pinch #9

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Tue, 09 May 2006 19:52:00 +0000

VOTE
LIKE
YAMIN IT!

Top 5: Special Haiku Edition

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 03 May 2006 02:08:00 +0000

Devon Aoki

Tonight, inexplicably, I trade in my journalist's cap (do they wear caps?) for a poet's brush (which looks sort of odd on my head), as I recap the Top 5 program via the ancient Japanese form of Haiku.

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's blog, in exactly 85 syllables [well, not counting the names]:

Top 6 Leave the Gun and Take the Cannoli

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 01:57:00 +0000

Andrea Bocelli

I have no idea what the headline means, but like tonight's guest Andrea Bocelli, it’s a ridiculous Italian reference for American Idol. Along with producer/evil taskmaster David Foster (who as a critic makes Simon Cowell look like Paula Abdul), Bocelli ushered in a theme of “Love Songs.” Or as I prefer to look at it, a night that holds the sweet promise of putting Kellie Pickler one step closer to her old job, manning the pump handle on Grandpa’s moonshine still. And by the way, why is it that Randy and Paula can wax on with their little "judgements," but it is considered acceptable to rudely interrupt and criticize Simon when it is his rightful turn to speak? Same goes for Seacrest and his never-ending little Cowell-barbs. Simon is good, but everybody else is making him look even better.

Cominciamo:
Katharine McPhee - Kat committed the Mortal Sin that no one in 5 seasons of A.I. has ever been able to get away with and lived to escape the judge’s fury: she dared to sing a WHITNEY song!!! No matter that she nailed it to the wall as she simultaneously blew the friggin’ roof off the place. I guess she compounded her Sin by having the added audacity to be even more shimmeringly sensuous and shockingly lovely than ever while committing it. Perhaps she should have tried disarming the judges after the song with a couple of down-home malapropisms -- it usually works for Pickler. Was Kat as good as Whitney? Who cares? Why bother to make the comparison? She sang the song because she could -- because she possesses that rare level of vocal talent that allows her to tackle such songs in the first place. Kat was on stage tonight, delivering. Where is your Whitney Houston?
Unfortunately for Kat, and just like Whitney, tonight all three judges were on crack. Score: Kat on fire. Judges on crack.

Elliott Yamin - I’ve been trying to preach it now for something like 10 or 12 weeks. Elliott is the Man. Can you deny it? If you didn’t see and hear it tonight, you were probably watching America’s Top Model. A brilliant (as always) song selection [A Song For You] and breathtakingly stellar performance, which caused Paula to break down for the third time today (only this time it was on camera), and speed dial her pharmacist on her cell, on the air, before deferring to Simon, who appropriately genuflected in humilty to be in the presence of such Talent. Then they had to quickly cut to a commercial. At least that’s how I remember it. If Elliott gets booted this week, I will move to Iraq and never watch this show again in my life. Or, give up mushrooms.

Kellie Pickler - It’s official: even blind men know she is blonde. At this point I guess the B4 club [Blonde Bimbo Bumpkin Boosters] out there are feeling a little sorry for their girl tonight, having to follow two real singers -- or perhaps I should say for having to appear on a show with five real singers. Last week was Bewitched Bothered & Bewildered, and tonight we were treated to Droney, Dreary & Dreadful. The song choice was abysmal, and worse, smelled of Cowell-brown-nosism (this is supposedly his favorite song). This performance would have gotten any other contestant booted from the final 12, if it could have managed to keep anyone listening awake after 15 seconds in. And speaking of awake, it’s time for America to wake up and smell the kalla-mary: send Kellie-May home. And by the way, I have never liked that song.

Paris Bennett - I took some flack last week for not being as impressed with Princess P as the judges were. Tonight she took on The Way We Were, perhaps giving it more the Gladys Knight treatment than the Bah-Bra spin. I found myself in Randy’s camp (say it isn't so!!!) - check it out, check it out -- it was just OK, dawg -- for me. For me. Paris is still golden, but the performance was not one of her best. I hope she manages to stay another week.

Taylor Hicks - Is Taylor off his medication or something? Or was he off it for awhile and now he’s back on it? Did his goldfish die? He almost literally SLEPT through James Ingram's Just Once, until the big Money Notes came up, when his Soul Fairy Godmother stepped in and elbowed him (“Pump it up, T.H.! Now!). Then he went back to his nap. He’s not looking like he really wants this.

Chris Daughtry - Bocelli and Foster taught Chris the technique of singing while curled up in the fetal position on the floor. That was cool, but really, that's one of Taylor's old tricks. The mysterious A.I. powers-that-be wrongfully stuck CD in the bottom 2 (!) last week, after what I thought was one of his best performances. Tonight he was back with another sweetly delivered Daughtry-ized ballad, and this one seemed to make everybody happy! Gee whiz, I guess he’s going to be safe this week! Paula stood up and went into mini-hysterics; she was still a little damp from having kittens during Elliott’s number. This song reminded me of “God Didn’t Make The Little Green Apples,” which is probably what he should sing next week. No, I’m serious.

What? That’s all? Darn it -- I was just gettin' warmed up! I miss Ace already! How 'bout a little Queen encore?

Pardon me while I go to my room and do my Kat power-dial thing.

Surviving Seven Sing Standards; Stewart Supports

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 19 Apr 2006 01:35:00 +0000

Rod The Mod,
in more glorious days

If you recognized Marilu Henner in the opening audience shot, you may very well also remember the early, more credible half of guest muse Rod Stewart's career in the 60s and 70s. Despite the former gravedigger's foray into more questionable musical subgenres in the 80s and 90s, it can still truly be said that he is a legend of rock 'n roll, and in the music business. A bout with thyroid cancer drove Stewart's more recent genre transition towards the not-so-rockin' [so-called] 'Great American Songbook,' a twist of fate that was ultimately a very lucrative one for him.
The Stewart-imposed theme proved to also be very good for most, if not all of the 'Top 7' tonight. And has anyone noticed — this may be the first show in Idol history on which Simon Cowell liked or praised nearly every performance [his only criticism of Kellie was that the song choice was boring].

And now, a Little Touch of Idol in The Night:

Chris Daughtry - I am nearly speechless. If tonight’s Great American Songbook theme ushered in by 'Rod the Mod' accomplished nothing else tonight, it can at least can credited for occasioning the best performance of the entire season by Christopher Daughtry. This was a revelation — not merely for its contrast to his stock-in-trade style, but for its simple perfection as a vocal performance. It was nuanced, heartfelt, in key, and even a bit moving. If Daughtry winds up winning the whole shooting match, I’ll feel a little bit better about it after hearing him sing What A Wonderful World tonight, and he was singing.

Paris Bennett - All 3 judges were wowed by Paris tonight; but oddly, for the first time in four weeks, I was not. These Foolish Things is a very nice song, but was a perfectly bad song selection for Paris. On one level, the performance was letter-perfect, but on another it was sterile and too carefully delivered, as if she were singing for a lip-reading hearing-impaired audience. If justice prevails, votes will be low this week.

Taylor Hicks - I find that Taylor is very consistent at being inconsistent. He can be maddeningly mediocre some nights, and other times can effortlessly pull magic (to use Simon’s word) out of a hat. Tonight was more like one of the latter. Sam Cooke's You Send Me is a sublime song, but not one I had high hopes for as a vocal showcase — but Taylor proved me wrong. The performance was uncharacteristically relaxed, and on the money — and was thankfully garnished by an upbeat and surprising Taylorhixter-ized finale.

Elliott Yamin - It’s tough to find new ways to say this: Elliott is a singer’s singer, and is a pure pleasure to listen to. No surprise that he delivered a spot-on version of It Had to Be You. El was relaxed, smiling, emoting, and just plain looking good, which makes Simon’s “no personality” comment very puzzling. Elliott is one of the best reasons to watch this show every week. He needs to stay, dammit.

Kellie Pickler - It’s no surprise that this entire genre, and Kellie’s selection of the fabulous song Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered would cause problems for Ms. Suds in a Bucket. I was going to give her credit for a certain vulnerable vocal quality that I could ultimately report saved her painfully unsteady performance, but she managed to mangle the song so badly by the end that I have nothing charitable left to say. In fact, I’m quite peeved that she charmed herself out of hot water before the judges, with the infamous KP “Shucks & Shazam” routine, getting off the hook with nothing more than a couple of compliments on her wardrobe. And that doesn’t strike me as fair. Fair, at minimum, would be Kellie in the bottom 3 this week. Dang right.

Ace Young - Instead of dwelling on the fact that he resembled a very tall used car-selling schoolmarm in drag, I'm really going to go out on a limb here. Another fantastic song selection was made on the show tonight with That’s All, which suited Ace’s chops to a tee, causing him to actually remind us that yes, he does indeed have a singing voice. Vocally, he actually reminded me of jazz singer Kenny Rankin, and I consider that to be a great compliment. Ace may be able to stay out of trouble this week, and deserves to, judged on tonight's performance.

Kat McPhee - So, you're watching (or more likely re-watching) this particular performance on tape, sometime after the show? Go ahead, sit back; pour yourself a beverage. Hit the mute button on the remote if you like. You know in your heart of hearts that it’s all golden, and, um, you are so correct. Just keep your eyes glued to that screen. Drink in those gratuitous extreme close-ups. Get a load of those “somebody that I’m longing to see” eyes. Lose yourself in those “I’m a little lamb lost in the woods” lips. Kat has the power to coax ridiculous levels of hyperbole out of Simon, who proclaimed her to be vastly superior to the rest of the bunch. On the other hand, sometimes the planets & stars align, and hyperbole and reality perfectly coincide. Welcome to American McPheever.
Er, Ryan’s back. You can un-mute the sound now.

Idol Pinch #8

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Fri, 14 Apr 2006 05:05:00 +0000

Idols In Jeopardy

Are The Final 8 Ready For Freddie?

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 03:07:00 +0000

Ryan demonstrates his idea of constructive criticism

We may, we may not, rock you!
I was somewhat peeved that the show’s producers' penchant for theme shows has repeatedly taken American Idol to unhappy places, with tonight’s Queen theme a case in point. I have nothing categorically against the music of Queen; it just seemed an unneccessary trevail for all concerned. The good news is that it didn’t completely suck. There’s been much talk about who may or may not be drinking on the show lately — tonight, it was apparently the make-up artist. Ryan & Simon decided to keep a lid on the feud tonight [i.e. Seacrest can dish but he can't take it].

Let’s Get Queeny:

Bucky Covington - The Rockinghammer was granted the enviable show-opener slot, and surprisingly, had one of his better nights. Mind you, his Marshall Tucker-ized arrangement of Fat-Bottomed Girls was not a major vocal challenge, but Bucky woke up and mustered an actual stage performance this time around. If you’re a Bucky fan, holler “whoo-hoo!” If not, you at least have to admit that he might be around for another week.

Ace Young - Chest-scar-boy made the musical declaration “We Will Rock You,” a statement which [suspciously] is in the future tense. Perhaps he can make good on that someday, but first he must survive this week. I’m actually disappointed Ace didn’t make the obvious song selection - You’re My Best Friend, the sweetest, breathiest Queen song of all, which he therefore could have righteously nailed. Freddie Mercury might even have wanted to get behind Ace on that. Or on something. Well, at least Freddie might have had more of an appreciation for the incessant falsetto than the rest of us do.

Kellie Pickler - I’m going to have to part with our illustrious judges tonight, who were bewitched and enraptured by Miss Albemarle’s "bravery" in taking on Bohemian Rhapsody, as well as the by the flattering lighting and the Melissa McGhee-esque mascara work. I’ll give KP some credit for tackling the song as well as some sympathy for being made to sing Queen in the first place — but come on, that was off-key, weak, and pretty lackluster. I actually would have loved to have seen her really pull it off; but nope, she didn’t, even on paper. She is in desparate need of a country song, ya’ll.

Chris Daughtry - Chris is still not my cup of axle grease, though he is apparently America’s. But then, wasn't it America that elected George W. Bush, thereby initiating the Apocalypse? But I digress. Chris will probably be one of the last 3 contestants standing this season, so what I think doesn’t matter anyway. I was less familiar with this song than any of the others, but the vocal was very strong, the song choice was well-suited to his powerful voice, and I think this was basically a solid night for him. Okay, Daughtryites? Are you happy now?

Katharine McPhee - Katharine is a contestant that I have consistent faith in to deliver, week after week. And this show was no different — her vocal on Who Wants To Live Forever was stellar, but I do worry that she may be generally a bigger victim of tonight’s theme than the other contestants — a ballad in the middle of so much energetic rock, even if sung beautifully, may be a hard sell to tonight’s voters. But I suppose it’s enough for me that she was the unofficial namesake for tonight’s theme.

Elliott Yamin - The only singer tonight who didn’t merely survive the challenge of singing Freddie Mercury, he completely lived up to it. Elliott chose the difficult Somebody to Love and wailed on it with appropriate Mercury-esque passion and vocal mastery. If that weren’t good enough, El wrapped it all up with his personal funky touch. You gotta love it. And if you don’t, then just go to your room and vote for Ace or something.

Taylor Hicks - As with Chris D, the oddsmakers see Taylor hanging in this race for the long haul. Does he deserve to? Judged on actual vocal skill and versatility, perhaps not so much. But he has that ridiculously fearless quality on stage that sometimes just happens to work for him. Simon did not think so tonight. I think under the circumstances (this damned Queen theme), Hicks fared OK with Crazy Little Thing Called Love; it could have been worse. One man’s ridiculous is another man’s infectuous, I guess.

Paris Bennett - I think what impressed me the most about Princess P’s performance of The Show Must Go On was the sheer power of it. Surprisingly, she was not only not intimidated by the material, she downright owned it. Her 4th win in a row, in my book. She is an inspiration and testament to singing 16-year-olds everywhere.

Idol Pinch #7

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 03:06:00 +0000

McPheever, by Chanel: a scent that makes sense

Final 9 Meet The Gambler, and Commence to Gamblin'

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 05 Apr 2006 02:25:00 +0000

Idol Country!
Know when to walk away; know when to run

Howdy, y'all.
The guest muse for tonight’s country-themed program is Kenny Rogers, a man who appears to have had not merely a facelift, but a complete facegraft. Good Lord, has he entered the witness protection program or something? No question that he looks younger, but I’m not actually convinced that’s him. And wow, this show was American Idol on Bizzaro planet — even Whoopee Goldberg and Chris Rock were there. I’m not sure I can capture the weirdness herein. And to top things off, I just don’t feel like doing it! But…

The shoo, any-hoo:

Taylor Hicks - First of all, I am out of sorts tonight, because I don’t know if I’m even up for listening to nine country songs; and in the wake of last week’s fiasco show, hopes do not run high. Taylor did not help me out of this slump. Did Hicks really choose “Country Roads, Take Me Home?,” and, er, why? Did the producers ask him to take a dive this week? Song choices in the 'soulful zone' are generally his forte. Bad song, phoned-in performance. Simon called it something like “safe, lazy and boring,” and as usual, gets it right.

Mandisa Hundley - That’s right. I no longer feel she deserves the benefit of the doubt that entitles her to sashay around with just one name. Readers of this blog know that I have had a long struggle with the question of why I cannot completely endorse Mandisa. Tonight’s performance was warbly and pitchy, so I am no closer to answering the question, but I’m beginning to think she is no longer a strong contender. She has some major country backup singing on her resumé, so she has no excuse for tonight. Simon is on the money as usual in his dislike of the song and the performance, which sparks the weirdest and most genuinely hostile exhange between Ryan and Simon ever witnessed on this program…

Sideshow: Ryan, who is apparently dating Terri Hatcher and is now the biggest Big-shot, highest-paid, most in-demand emcee/power-broker in Hollywood and perhaps The Entire World, has been buying all that Seacrest media hype — and it shows. Announcer-boy got righteously arrogant & nasty here, I think, and crossed the line this time with his inane Simon insults. Ry, I gotta tell you, if you’re going to make me choose sides between your skinny metro-sexual butt and Cowell The Man, all I can say is: Seacrest Out. At one point tonight, the show was all but stopped in its tracks be two loud and distinct "we love you Ryan" shouts from the audience, which I believe were strategically placed by Seacrest's publicist. In keeping with tonight’s theme, I will just say, Ryan, 'don’t be gettin’ above your raising.'

Elliott Yamin - Idol’s most skillful and nuanced male vocalist may have had a bit of a challenge wrapping his jazzified chops around this genre. But in spite of Kenny Rogers’ dubious words of wisdom (“you’re not trying to impress them, you’re trying to make them cry”) the Yaminator pulled a possum out of a hat with a stylish cover of Garth Brooks' If Tommorow Never Comes, and did not fail to keep his personal bar up high. I’m still down with El.

Paris Bennett - Like Simon, I disagreed with the other 2 'judges' on every negative comment they made about Ms. Bennett. This was one of my favorite Paris performances, delivered with passion, and Simon actually concurred with my own opinion that it was a bit reminscent of early Dionne Warwick (and that's a pretty big compliment). Paris is on track in this competition with three top-drawer performances in a row.

Ace Young - Ace continues his dizzying tailspin, and unyielding effort to sabotage any and all vocal promise he may have displayed in early rounds. He delivered a weak song (I Want to Cry), weakly, as he does weekly, and topped it all of with his usual falsetto beanie. If Ace looked a little more like Elliot, he would have been voted off 3 shows back, and Paula would not be drooling into her Coke (if that's what's it is). As it stands this week, he is almost guaranteed a spot in the bottom 3, again, bringing a delicious irony to the title of Ace's song selection. Simon was mildly complimentary — employing the famous Cowell trick of overpraising when he thinks a contestant is tanking prematurely in the competition. A wiley one, he is.

Kellie Pickler - One might have guessed that [down]homegirl would fare well on tonight’s show, and indeed, she does shine best in this genre, and did tonight. She was helped by a good song choice — Fancy, a sort of swamp-rocking chestnut by Bobbie Gentry (later covered by Reba McIntire) about a white trash young girl turned out in the streets by momma to turn tricks, whose strength and virtue eventually leads her to triumph. Life imitating art? Kellie’s vocal skills may never truly triumph, but she still manages enough overall appeal to stay in this greased pole climbin' race.

Chris Daughtry - It was good move for our most serious contestant, to choose a Keith Urban ballad, which finally allowed him to demonstrate that there’s more than just a lot of Groan & Shout in his vocal bag of tricks. A surprisingly good negotiation of tonight’s theme for Daughtry. He ain’t going nowhere.

Katharine McPhee - As we all know by now, there is no cure for McPheever. The pride of Sherman Oaks, California doesn’t ever really have a bad night, even on her, um, bad nights. So of course it was good — but once again, I agree with Simon -- that was the most peculiar song (Faith Hill's Bring Out the Elvis). It was billed as ‘bluesy country,’ but was neither blues nor country, and had a really odd structure. But Katharine's smile had a very nice structure. Okay, I’ll take it!

Bucky Covington - The other final-9er who by all counts should have sailed through this evening once again made one wonder how he ever got this far on American Idol. You may argue that he has some singing ability, but if so, he manages to hide it well beneath his impressive lack of stage presence. Glad he got himself some fancy duds and a nice hat for the trip home. As Kenny would say: you gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em; know when to walk away…

Idol Pinch #6

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 04:05:00 +0000

Idol Pinch #5

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 03:18:00 +0000

Hicks vs. Clooney
Bentback Mountain, or "Oh, Brother, Tell Me What I Say"

March 28 - And Then There Were 10

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 02:28:00 +0000

Ace + homegirl posse: It is just me, or does anyone else feel like lighting up a Newport?

Tonight's theme: music of the 21st century. [Psst, Bucky - that means anything that came out after Dale Earnhardt's fatal car crash at Daytona]. Oh, and Paula’s hair looked fabulous tonight.

On to the big shew!

Lisa Tucker - Girl, exactly what were you thinking? Presented with a virtual list of every worthy song recorded in this century — and your number one choice to perform at this particular juncture is a KELLY CLARKSON song?! Ouch! Big ouch. The judges (especially Simon) got it right — you blew it, and ensured yourself a place in the bottom three.

Kellie Pickler - Reportedly, Kellie is thrilled with her longevity on this program; and her life in a Hollywood hotel & the access to clean towels that comes along with it — but has missed a lot of school, and is not especially looking forward to having to repeat the fifth grade when she returns home. To the vocal — as with Lisa, presented with the opportunity to sing ANY, yes ANY decent song from this century, Ms. Pickler chose “Soap Suds In A Bucket,” which you really don’t have to hear to get the gist of. The bucket has a hole in it. The cute pink top and the painted-on jeans held her in good stead in this competition, however.

Ace Young - In mid-song, Ace inexplicably pulled his shirt half open to reveal a broken-heart scar, a gesture which somehow did not escape Paula’s attention; but alas for Paula, ‘twas all for naught. Bad song choice remains the order of the day, as Ace sets about to prove himself a much more mediocre talent than we ever thought he was. The boy is a natural spokesmodel for that sweet white boy band groove, which is where he should be hanging his musical beanie. Such a waste…but if I don’t have to see that golden retriever-ish stare into the camera for another week, I’ll be just fine.

Taylor Hicks - The Soul Patrolman [yes, now he, too has a personal campaign name] does two things extremely well: chooses songs best suited to his voice, and performs them passionately. All without having to spin the mic stand over his head like a lasso (are you listening Bo Bice?). That alone sets him apart from the crowd tonight. And the vocal was good.

Mandisa - The Fabulous And Thick One did her thing, which was fabulous & thick, but still managed to leave me somehow a bit cold.

Chris Daughtry - I’m trying out a new nickname for Chris: The Minor-key Muffler. Okay, perhaps it still needs a little work. Last week, every critic in the country (including yours truly) was wowed by the audacious originality of Daughtry’s arrangement of Johnny Cash’s “I Walk the Line.” Alas — it comes to light that Homedawg probably could not spot Reese Witherspoon in a police lineup populated by the Carter family. No, it wasn’t C.D’s stamp on a J.C. song, but rather a lame cover of someone else’s Johnny Cash cover. Oops, I forgot — this is American Idol. If Daughtry were a true original, he wouldn't be here. So we deduct a few points for Chris, and move on to tonight’s performance. The Grand Groan was intact as he tackled one of his most dismal song choices yet. But Daughtry fans can rejoice, and party hardy (which presumably means beat their heads against something). He’ll be back.

Katharine McPhee - Katharine, you had me at “tonight I’m going to sing…”

Bucky Covington - Bucky was doubly disappointed when the show's producers informed him that his song choice for this week, "Dueling Banjos," is not a 21st century song; and to add insult to injury, that it has no lyrics. So he wound up doing one that he just “flat out liked.” Close your eyes, and it’s like you’re at the county fair, smelling the sheep gittin’ sheared and the hogs gittin’ tied. And oops, now you're about to get sick on that corn dog you just ate. Paula suggested that he work on his diction, which is something like asking a trailer to hurricane-proof itself.

Paris Bennett - Paris scores, 2 weeks in a row. After a generally bummy bunch of performances tonight, Princess P must have the show’s producers thinking “Um-hmm, yeah. I can sell this.” Simon said “precocious,” which I myself have called Paris twice in the past. And yes, perhaps the song is inappropriate for a girl her age — but her performance was on the money. She stays.

Elliot Yamin - Elliot is a glass of Pinot Noir in a Diet Coke world. Elliot rocks. Elliot kicks butt. Elliot is The Man. Elliot had Chris Daughtry back in the green room tonight, weeping like a little girl because he couldn’t pull off something quite that brilliant. Bo Bice had to turn his TV off. Elliot Yamin did what everyone thought Daughtry did last week, that is, put his own spin on well-known song, rocked the house, and nailed it. Elliot is my American Idol.

Idol Pinch #4

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Tue, 28 Mar 2006 04:01:00 +0000

Millions of baby cows and Kelly Clarkson drink milk. Shouldn't you, too?

March 21 - Manilow's Final 11

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 03:06:00 +0000

Kevin is Evil

This week, the show’s producers, weighing (as potential show guests) the list of musical has-beens who might appreciate publicity for their otherwise-doomed latest recordings, came up with the perennial favorite of women fifty and over, Barry Manilow. This is a man who recently asked himself the question “how can I possibly get less musically relevant?” and answered it with the release of a new CD containing his renditions of songs from the 1950s. And hey, coincidentally, that’s what our Final Eleven are doing tonight!! What are the odds?!! Kidding aside -- Manilow’s genius as an arranger and vocal coach may have made this show one of the most consistently entertaining ones in a long time.

Down to it:

Mandisa - Barry wanted her to start big and end big. Mandisa wanted to just end big. The stage was big, the performance was big, Mandisa’s voice was big, and the audience & judges’ reactions were big. Summation: Mandisa = big. The girl can belt. The jury is still out on whether belting and singing are quite the same thing. Either way, I guarantee this girl is gonna stay big.

Bucky Covington - The Buckster made the dubious decision to cover Buddy Holly’s “Oh, Boy.” He was backed by a stripped-down rockabilly arrangement from the band, and the barely-perceptible sound of Holly turning over in his grave.

Paris Bennett - This performance may have represented the long-overdue fulfillment of the promise of Paris’ excellent first audition. She delivered a suitably masterful rendition of “Fever.” The caveat is that this song is one of those quintessential finger-popping anthems of cool that virtually cannot be sabotaged by anyone with a set of vocal cords, and a mic.

Chris Daughtry - amusement prevails: Barry meets Chris, and seems to have an immediate rapport deficit. I mean, poofy, professionally-permed-&-dyed hair is kind of the antithesis to no hair at all, ain’t it? But on to the performance. I’m a little speechless -- Homeboy blind-sided me with a rendition of “I Walk The Line” that may go down in American Idol history as one of the most uncompromisingly original arrangements of a familiar song done in the competition. This sort of musical rethink is common in the real world, but not so much in this venue. I’m with Simon on this -- the vocal itself was a little dodgy, but the song as performed was some sort of benchmark. Now, he did proceed to muck the thing up at the end with some whack metalish histrionics, but I’m going to forgive him this time. Paula: down, girl.

Katharine McPhee - Is there really anything left to say? If there is, the drool on my keyboard may prevent me from typing it. Simon has caught the McPheever. Isn’t it time you catch it, too?

Taylor “Clooney” Hicks - Like Bucky, Taylor chose a song from from the Buddy Holly catalog; But unlike Bucky, Taylor is familiar enough with Holly's music to know that “Not Fade Away” is perhaps the one Holly song that best holds up in a contemporary rock context, and is therefore a worthy choice. Taylor shucked and jived his way across the stage, doing that watered-down R&B schtick he does so well, and that dancing he does not-so-well. Yeah, he’s safe.

Lisa Tucker - Lisa made the unfortunate song choice “Why Do Fools Fall in Love,” which begs the musical question “why would a foolish contestant choose this song?” To make things just a little worse, she didn’t even sing it well. Yeah, that was a 50s song, alright. Exactly the kind I don’t like, unless I'm watching reruns of Happy Days, and Potsy is dancing to it while Fonzie stares disapprovingly from the corner. As sweet as girl as I believe she is, I have to be tougher here than even Simon could manage, and say this was her worst effort so far. Look out, bottom three.

Kevin Covais - I do have to give little Blinky credit for choosing another one of my favorite songs "When I Fall In Love" (which I hate to admit after hearing Randy say it). And while he did not utterly destroy it, he was flat in a few places, and you know, I really cannot forgive him for that. But the whole, er, uh, “Kevin Experience” remained intact. He may not have an extended future on this show, but not to worry -- rumor has it that Barry Manilow has offered him an internship as a personal assistant. Try not to drop that pencil, Kevin! As an entertainment bonus tonight, Ryan had Kevin's older sister Sammy do some of the song introductions.

Elliot Yamin - No one is going to believe this, but I was singing “Teach Me Tonight” in the car on the way home from work today (the Phoebe Snow version). And, I was singing it at home last night. It is another one of my all-time favorite songs. Let’s not mince words here. Elliot is the best singer on the show, the most deserving to win, and my favorite. And, I don’t know what the A.I. make-up geniuses have up their sleeves, but he LOOKED GOOD tonight. Not even one bit unfortunate-looking. Go, L.

Kellie Pickler - Simon and Kellie, sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-GEEEE . . . Yes, Simon loves his naughty little minx! Barry Manilow had basically never heard of Patsy Cline -- now that’s insulation. Barry! You know…she’s like Bahh-bra… -- only hand-churned butt-a! Oh, okay. Now he gets it. Ellie May’s performance? Half of it was below the comfort level of her key. But as with Paris’ choice of “Fever,” this is a song that sort of carries itself, no matter who sings it. But regardless…there will be roses from Simon awaiting Kellie tonight in her dressing room. Who knows? He may even show up at the door to give her an oral report.

Ace Young - I’m trying to keep my mind open here, but Beanie Boy is not giving me much to work with. No, not a great song choice. Another one of those quintessential best-forgotten 50s songs, in my opinion. And that BIG falsetto note at the end that we were all hovering over our seats for was painfully limp. Even the spectacular and unprecedented 360-degree camera wrap during the grande moment didn’t salvage it. Hey, Ace, remember that bottom three from last week? Er, Paula…again, down girl! As if! Why, you're old enough to be his batty drunken aunt!

NOTE: FYI: This week is sort of a milestone show -- whoever makes the cut after tomorrow night will be included in the national American Idol tour, like it or not. So vote early & often!

Idol Pinch #3

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Sun, 19 Mar 2006 06:08:00 +0000

Clyde "Bo" Pickler,
Florida State Penitentiary

Idol Pinch #2

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 15 Mar 2006 04:17:00 +0000

The man on the right is obviously not a good judge of character. Can we really trust him to make credible judgements regarding the performances of our American Idol contestants? Question: Isn't it time to stop giving Randy Jackson the benefit of the doubt?

March 14 - The Final 12 [Girls + Boys]

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Wed, 15 Mar 2006 03:17:00 +0000

Old-school Taylor Hicks

Tonight's jump-off point theme was "the music of Stevie Wonder," tribute to a man who achieved superstardom as a performer at a very young age, without the benefit of a single Randy Jackson critique along the way. The difficult-to-sing Wonder catalog combined with some obvious Final 12 nerves made tonight a little dodgy for many of our contestants, especially in the first half of the show.

And on to the show:

Ace Young - Ace brought almost the whole Ace Signature Package, the smile, the hair, the perpetually popped-open bedroom eyes. Unfortunately he failed to bring the voice. Lots and lots of flat notes in there. I know the boy can sing, but he left his vocal mojo in the dressing room tonight.

Kellie Pickler - If you think that Kellie's self-coined campaign slogan ("Pick Pickler!") is a bit trite and has all the zing and sex appeal of say, "Vote Dukakis!," consider some of her earlier, rejected considerations: "Pick Cotton!," "Pick Me & Maybe They'll Let Daddy Out!," and "Pick a Peck of Pickled Picklers!" All that aside, I'm parting with the judges and conventional wisdom, going out on a limb, and proclaiming that I liked her perfomance tonight. Go figure. Not a "wow" song choice, and flawed by obvious nerves - but she surprised me with what I thought was an exceptional tonal quality (no kidding) that showed flashes of above-averageness. Now, the Ellie-May-Clampett-with-a-lobotomy persona is beginning to grate, more than just a bit.

Elliot Yamin - My boy Elliot was the contestant probably most suited to singing Stevie Wonder tonight. He did not pick the most exciting song in the catalog, but instead opted for one of the most difficult to sing, and proceeded (of course) to NAIL it. A couple of lost points for lack of "wow" factor, but Elliot is the man. Looks like the A.I. Makeover Swat Team has begun taking on the formidable Yamin challenge tonight, in baby steps, starting with removal of some facial hair. Elliot, see you next week, dawg.

Mandisa - I seem to remember from past seasons that when they get to the Big Stage, the acoustics become such that the judges (apparently) hear things much differently than we, the home audience, do. This is one of those cases. Mandisa sang a good song "Don't You Worry 'Bout A Thing," very badly. The judges said Yes. I say No, No, No.

Bucky Covington - Our ESL contestant arrived on stage looking like a drag version of Kurt Cobain [thanks for that, Meredith]. He loved Elvis' "Suspicious Minds" first time he heard it, and ditto with Wonder's "Superstitious." Oh, I get it now. Bucky likes all songs that start with "Su" that also contain that "icious" sound. I think he may have walked under a ladder on his way out to the stage. In the pre-performance interview, did he say Stevie Wonder gave him some destructive criticism? We can only hope it was destructive enough.

Melissa McGhee - I'm glad the Hair & Make-Up Crew has arrived with this week's show - I was worried that Melissa had depleted the bucket of mascara she had tapped for last week's show. I have said some positive things about this girl's vocal talent before, and I will stand by them. The girl has real chops. The clock may be running out on her in this competition, but she deserves credit for some talent.

Lisa Tucker - Nothing new to report here. Lisa still takes command of the stage and sings well. But she chose a song that virtually anyone can sing - one that does not particularly show off her voice. Simon pulled one of those signature Simon stunts - he overpraised her to make sure she gets to the Final 10. And she may deserve to, but he knew she was going to need some help this time.

Kevin Covais - What is the significance of this week's arrival of the A.I. Wardrobe Team? It's hard to assess really, but in Kevin's case we know he can avoid the J.C. Penney Boy's Dept. for one more week. Okay, what began as something like a combination of circus side-show sympathy and that feeling you get watching the playful beagle puppies in the pet store window rolling in their own poop has gone horribly wrong, and it has got to stop right now, this week. Simon, thank you for another gloves-off critque, valiently crafted with the specific aim of getting this kid deservedly booted.
Oh, I know what you're thinking - "… but, he was soooo cuuuuute!"
I rest my case.

Katharine McPhee - Is it my imagination, or was the stage THROBBING during that vocal? I'm just sayin'…
She Who Can Do No Wrong appeared on stage, or perhaps floating above it, shimmering, as in a vision, on, around, within, without, above and beyond us all, in/on a bath of warm lavender/amber light. From this unassuming perch, that signature soothing/miraculous sound emerged from her remarkable mouth, and began its inevitable hypnotic process. Oddly, early on during tonight's show [I swear, this is true], I turned to my son and said "You know what would be the best song to someone to sing tonight? Till You Come Back To Me." Best known as a minor hit for Aretha Franklin, it is undoubtably my very favorite Wonder song, which makes Katharine's perfect rendition of it even more special. Did I mention that I liked it? Simon all but admitted K.M.'s manifest destiny in this competition by alluding to Kelly Clarkson. Better start marking my words…

Taylor Hicks - I've been on the fence with Taylor lately; he's had his good & bad moments. But the man delivered one of his better efforts tonight, singing the suitably funky "Just Enough For The City." Seemed simultaneously poised and possessed. He also noticably benefited from Clean-Up Crew efforts, with tailored suit and groomed coffiure. And somebody has obviously been telling him all those whoo's won't net him a recording contract.

Paris Bennett - Probably one of the best by her in a long time. Still doesn't rock my world, but this performance was very good, and should keep her around for a little while.

Chris Daughtry - What can I say? Homeboy brought it home tonight with perhaps his most accessible performance so far. And you know, he actually seems humble, and that's kind of nice.

3/8/06 - The Final 8 Boys

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Thu, 09 Mar 2006 03:32:00 +0000

Homeboy Chris Daughtry, in hairier days

The guys continue the show theme from last night, which can be summed up as… American Idol Contestant Secrets Revealed! For example: Gedeon enjoys fingerpainting, when he’s not channeling Mike Tyson. Chris Daughtry was Ryan before he was Vin. And, when little Kevin is alone in this room, he likes to rap, just for fun. But contrary to popular opinion, he was not actually created by Charles Schulz.

On to the Show:

Gedeon McKinney - I’m telling you, the boy is not right. Gedeon would be wise to avoid attempting to string words together, unless there’s a band playing behind him. Fortunately, his old school soul singing style remained intact tonight, and saved the day.

Chris Daughtry - I was ready to swallow my sarcasm and give Homeboy his props tonight, to recognize his ability to out-dirge the best of them, etc. But his Grande Melodic Moan was more of a Whalloping Whine tonight. And there were a few sour notes as well. But he’s as safe as ever.

Kevin – We open with Kev’s confession that he is a closet Kanye West fan, which is a perfectly absurd set-up for one of the white-est performances ever on this show. One could describe it as Don McLean Light, if that’s not redundant — all the over-the-top passion of your local Salvation Army boy’s choir soloist singing Silent Night — but with this one the only bell heard is the ringing in your ears afterwards. Simon did his best to bring Kevin back down to earth with a few well-chosen humbling words of Painful Truth.

Bucky - Our other homeboy surprised me tonight and turned in perhaps his most accessible performance yet. I didn’t say it was good, or that I liked it, but I’m beginning to get him just a little. Probably a case of too little, too late. He may get to fulfill his dream of breakfast back at the Rockingham, NC Bojangles as early as Friday morning.

Will Makar - Somebody should have told the boy that this is a Motown song, for god’s sake; a Soul song, and therefore should really only be sung by people who have soul. Yes, James Taylor pulled it off very well, but James is James. This is one of those performances best described by one of Simon’s perennial favorite canned critiques, which goes something like this: “If I’m being honest, this reminded me of something you might hear [choose one] a.) at a wedding reception; b) on a Disney cruise ship; c) at a Portugeuse restaurant; d) at a May Day picnic; or e) by someone who will not make the Final 6.

Taylor Hicks - Michael McDonald is exactly who Taylor has always reminded me of (not that that is a good thing), so his song choice was fitting, if not brilliant, and he pulled it off well. A good night for him, I think. But his signature move of throwing his head back while flashing the goofy smile is not working for me. Someone should tell him that Ray Charles had a good excuse for that -- he was blind. He managed to keep the “whoo” quotient down this week, but lost a few points when he confessed that Christopher Cross is a major inspiration. What?

Elliot – I will not desert my new underdog favorite, in spite of a questionable song choice. Simon called it a cop-out or something, I just think it’s a waste to throw a great voice away on a mediocre song. We discover tonight that Elliot is the show’s token (or perhaps I should say Tolkien) hearing-impaired contestant. [It was difficult to work that Tolkien joke in, but I just had to try.] He’ll be back.

Who am I forgetting? Oh yeah, Beanie Boy. Ace “handyman” Young. Which judge was it who told Ace last week that he should put his wonderful falsetto skills more to use? Perhaps whichever it was should be dressed up in a quail suit and sent off on a weekend hunting excursion with Dick Cheney. But I digress. Ace demonstrates his exceptional singing ability & star quality again tonight (damn him); but you have to admit, it was a case of Falsetto Overkill. I would be lunging for the power button if I heard that on the radio. And re the song choice: is it just me, or doesn't choosing a Michael Jackson song seem a little, uh, imprudent at best?

Who is history? Certainly Will Makar. It’s hard to predict the other, because the voters can be weird…

3/7/06 - The Final 8 girls

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Thu, 09 Mar 2006 03:28:00 +0000

Katharine gives buttons a run for their money in the Cuteness department

Tonight’s Theme –
Surprising and amazing things you didn’t know about our girls, such as Kellie's bold confession: “I like dow’gs.” And Paris's “underneath all these clothes, I’m … really … a . . . TOMBOY!!!! Or Ayla's: “I thought my daddy was Elvis Presley! Is that crazy or what?” Or in the case of Melissa McGhee, “I do really weird things with my eyes at the end of every sentence I speak!”

On to the performances:

Paris Bennett – I wish I had something funny, incisive or interesting to say here. She managed to make a very energetic, upbeat song really boring. And had a couple of uncomfortably sustained flat notes along the way. So far, to me, a case of unfulfilled promise. But as Simon said, “See you next week.”

Lisa Tucker – The judges were a little harsh on you tonight, dawg. But I liked you; you did yer thing; you worked it out. It may have been an unfamilar song, but it was not a sucky song, and you sang it with real emotion. You’ll be back. Whaddya think, dawg pound?

Kinnick – Simon said it best when he said she just bought a plane ticket home, so that she could go get some chicklets.

Katharine Zeta McPhee – Now, I know they don’t do the Miss America crowning thing on this show, but they really should consider it. I just think those sparkling rhinestones would really bring out the twinkle in Katharine’s eyes. The producers of this show are now faced with a tough decision: Should we trudge through with the weekly competition toward its inevitable McPhee-veriish conclusion, or put the other 15 on a chartered bus touring America’s karaoke bars, cameras in tow, and call it a new reality show? Oops, am I gushing? Let’s get to the performance comments: Although I don’t think pretty little affluent white girls should sashay around a stage singing Aretha Franklin songs any more than Snoop Dog should get a perm and cover Barry Manilow, I cannot, CAN NOT find a flaw with her tonight. She could sing the Albemarle, NC phone book and make it sound good. Now if they can just figure a way to filter everything Randy says through her mouth, we’d have us a show.

Melissa McGhee – I’m still going to give the girl more props than the judges did, even though I’ve really never liked that song. I think she could be lucky enough to delay that plane ticket Simon mentioned for one more week.

Ayla – She’s always just on the edge of greatness, or at least specialness, not quite getting there. OK - here is an unfair assessment, but…she’s a rich girl from a prominent New England political family, who is playing the options of her youth and having fun, before she fulfills her destiny -- getting a law degree, and going into politics, like Daddy. In a few years, when she’s running for congress or whatever, they’ll pull out these clips of the show and everyone will nod and smile, and she’ll win her seat. You heard it here first.

Kellie “naughty minx” Pickler – That sall-min she had for lunch must’uv done her some good tonight. A decent song choice. I think all that fire & brimstone behind her was effective -- I was feelin' the sin for few minutes there. As Simon said, she’s definitely not the best singer in the bunch, but she scored a few points tonight. And you know, that funky renegade front tooth thing worked for Jewel…and Jewel didn’t have the benefit of that hillbilly ditz schtick.

Mandisa – Can I resist the “I’m every woman, they’re all in me” fat joke? Well of course, I would never stoop to that. But I do suspect she may be hiding Ruben Studdard somewhere in there. Moving right along… Mandisa was at her best. I have to admit, she is formidable when she's on her game. As for how far she can go in this competition, I don’t know.

Who is not safe? Kinnick, and either Melissa or Ayla. Geez, this is starting to hurt.

3/1/06 - The Final 10 Boys

chadboulet1@yahoo.com (Chadboulet) — Thu, 02 Mar 2006 03:20:00 +0000

The sky is falling on Kevin Covais

My take on the boys tonight, in order of performance:

Taylor "Whooo!" Hicks - I believe the goofy self-enthusiasm has reached critical mass, or diminishing marginal returns, or something. That is, there was more spunk & spirit displayed tonight than singing talent. I initially thought he had "underdog appeal," but now I'm beginning to wonder if he's really got the vocal chops. It was all a little sloppy. Please Taylor, simmer down a bit. You're beginning to annoy me. I predict that next week, counting those “whoo’s” will be the fastest-growing campus drinking game in the country.

Elliot Yamin - Now, I've watched that "Extreme Makeovers" show enough to know that they can pull of all kinds of miracles. So maybe there IS hope for Elliot. Seriously, he really impressed me. Paula was right, that was a song that I doubt if any other contestant could have pulled off; and he not only pulled it off, he was a pleasure to listen to. I almost understand Simon's statement from last week about him being one of the best singers in the history of the show. Apart from singing well and in perfect pitch, he also has a great tonal quality. I liked it. I think he's a really nice guy, too. Maybe Elliot is my underdog. If he keeps this up, I may have to stop making fun of his looks. Or maybe I’ll just have to close my eyes when he sings.

Ace Young, Pet Detective – Generally, I prefer judging individual performances to picking personal favorites. But sometimes I really feel strongly about wanting one contestant to NOT win. I think this is becoming the case with Ace. The precious “beanie in the pocket” story -- I was blushing like a 16-year-girl (out of embarrassment for him), and that is exactly who that type of little anecdote will impress the most. Okay, I know it sounds like sour grapes, but this is obviously a guy who is well accustomed to brushing his hair back with one hand and batting his eyelashes to get things (like 16-year-old girls). He does have a singing voice, but was a song victim tonight, I think.

Gedeon - I feel a little vindicated -- I called his last performance fairly perfect, though no one I've talked to seems to like him, and the judges were a little cold. This week he was very good again, and the judges recognized it. I also like his "throwback" quality. I think he needs to lose the mustache -- he's just 17 or something, and he looks 30. And he is still a little weird, without a doubt. But he's got a future as a performer, I think.

Kevin - Oh, my goodness gracious. Has success gone to our little Kevin's head? Or other body parts? He chose to do a song by Marvin "Sexual Healing" Gaye (one of the best singers ever, in my book), for God's sake. Did he get his mommy's permission to do that? And did you notice the left hand reaching down to almost do the Michael Jackson crotch-grab thing, several times? All that was missing were the Ray-Bans. Well, there was nothing to do but sit there and cover my face with my hands and try not to peek -- I think I'm still blushing. Simon said the first 2 judges were in La-La Land when they praised the performance, and yes, he was quite right.

Sway - I'm with the judges on this. I love Stevie Wonder, and I love the song. Sway did do kind of a karaoke performance that was about a 7. I don't feel he is shaping up as 'star' material.

Will "Peter Brady" Makar - His announcement that he was going to sing Kenny Rogers' "Lady" was tantamount to jumping up on the judges' table, facing the audience, and shouting "Hey, everybody -- this one is really going to suck!" And the performance itself was tantamount to quietly standing still on stage, wearing a sign around his neck reading "please vote me off tonight."

Bucky-Buck – Doin’ Rockingham and the entire state of NC proud! But no, sorry, not a menu reader! I hope there's a big plate of chicken & dumplins waitin' for him on the front porch when he gits home, and I hope that is very soon. On the official web site, Bucky says if he doesn’t make it as a singer, his second choice “to race.” Now, some might have phrased that response as “to be a Nascar driver.” But in Rockingham, as everybody knows, they all just grow up wantin’ ‘to race.’ Race, Bucky, Race!

David [Connick, Jr.] Radford - Also wearing the "vote me off tonight" sign, and I’m reading it loud and clear.

Chris "Vin Diesel" Daughtry - Chris continues to do what he does, very well -- which is to sound exactly like himself, which is to say, to sound like one of those young rock singers you hear on the radio these days who sound just like that, which is to say, like an ambiguously angry-sounding baritone guy who makes me want to change stations, because I think he wants to hurt somebody, or somebody’s eardrums. Probably goes backstage and punches the wall for 20-30 minutes after the show, just to unwind. One of these days he's going to throw a chair or something into the audience and someone's gonna get hurt. Hopefully Randy. But seriously, Chris, I like you, I really do. Just please don't hurt me.